oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
