Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
