i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
