Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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