im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
