You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
