"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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