What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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