Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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