I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
