so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
