Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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