I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
