I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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