who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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