Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
