No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
