You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
id be glad to
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
