ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
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can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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