I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
