Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm bleeding and have questions
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
