Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
