You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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