Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
