Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
