Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize