just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
