I have demons in me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
