In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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