woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
