it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
