just tell him i said nine months
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
