Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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