Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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