Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize