do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
