so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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