Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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