i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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