You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
