I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
