hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
