Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
