Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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