I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize