awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
