Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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