Define "chronic" masturbator.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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