hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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