May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
