It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
