Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
