i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
