I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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