im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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