1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize