I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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