i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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