Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
