i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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