Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.