i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you traded sex for a burrito?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
Houston, we have a blender
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks