Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
