Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
