Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
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I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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