im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
