i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
